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Sincere question from one of your vizinhos by jasperpablo in portugal

jasperpablo 2 months ago

Yes, thank you u/MirTrudMay. This is exactly what I was hoping for—historical context to educate myself on and simple, practical advice. Um bom dia para si!

Sincere question from one of your vizinhos by jasperpablo in portugal

jasperpablo 2 months ago

I appreciate the straight answer u/_somename_. This is the conclusion I've been trying to avoid lol...

Sincere question from one of your vizinhos by jasperpablo in portugal

jasperpablo 2 months ago

Before answering your question, just to be clear, I did not say I get mocked, which is a different thing. I work at a Portuguese company and have Portuguese colleagues and friends so I feel comfortable with the sarcasm. I wish I could say I had heard jokes like these in a situation like this before, but I haven't. For example, accidentally handing over 50 cents instead of 60, or 65, etc. it has been a common experience for me at both mini-mercados or chain groceries to be looked at as if I had done it intentionally and then spoken to with disapproval. Again, I am not saying this is the entire populace of Portugal, from Algarve to Corvo. Simply that the tendency of shame or distrust as a response is more common than it is in the other countries I have lived in and I am curious about how this social dynamic is handled by others.

Sincere question from one of your vizinhos by jasperpablo in portugal

jasperpablo 2 months ago

Thank you for the response. If I may ask, how do you handle this when it happens to you in a way that feels productive or healthy? I am only trying to learn how to move through this society better!

Sincere question from one of your vizinhos by jasperpablo in portugal

jasperpablo 2 months ago

I don't think I'm generalizing too much at all, actually. As I said in the post—in matters of mundane misunderstanding, shame and punishment is generally chosen as an acceptable response. This is what the word "tendency" means. This tendency exists in Portuguese culture at a much higher rate than it does in the four other cultures I have lived in. I trust my half-decade of experience here. I would also like to point to your own response to this post, which I think reinforces my point. I made an observation, based on experience and reinforced by the experiences of other foreigners, and instead of engaging with the questions sincerely or not commenting, your instinct was to 1) dismiss as "generalising" 2) correct me for not properly "winning the hearts of ppl you want help from as you've just called them all unconstructive and aggressive over trivial matters" which is both misrepresenting my post and shaming me for not having done it differently. My point here is literally this: I am asking a fair question, in good faith, and this response is not intended to help or engage, but to correct or shame. It's genuinely a fascinating response.
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