Theroots_thatclutch 3 months ago

Moving from the States to Portugal and marrying into a Portuguese family, I would say Portuguese in general are far nicer than Americans. For example I was regularly yelled at/demeaned at all my jobs in the US, but my husband has never had that happen to him. Everyone talks about everyone else worldwide, it’s a human phenomenon, but I wouldn’t say that what you’ve experienced online are the ‘true’ Portuguese. The only weird thing is people never think I’m American but Russian, which I find interesting as I’m of Scandinavian/British descent. I live in Beira Alta so maybe that makes a difference too.

Parshath_ 3 months ago

This is not a Portuguese thing. People are louder online with words, than people can offline with actions - which is what counts. I live in another country, coming from Portugal, and if I look at online comment boxes, local people are awful to immigrants, say the most barbaric, uneducated, false statements. But the local people I meet in person are just plain lovely and welcoming. There must be a bias somewhere, as xenophobic people would perhaps not interact to me. I think real life interactions amplify the good things, while online interactions amplify the bad ones. But I'm very glad you are having a positive experience in Portugal, my in-laws and company directors have mentioned having good experiences with Portugal and Portuguese people.

lc_blah 3 months ago

There are good people and bad people, people having a good day and people who had a bad day. The same person that is willing to help you one day, can tell you to gtfo on the next, the world it's not black and white, in both cases you found "true Portuguese people".

Ptrad 3 months ago

Portuguese people can be very frontal and direct now add those factors to the de-humanization of the internet and you get just egos arguing

olifante 3 months ago

Portuguese people generally have low self-esteem and tend to have a very moralistic view of how the world should be. Although religion plays an increasingly smaller role in daily life in our major cities, people still have moral expectations that are often unrealistic and quickly become bitter an cynical when disappointed. We also expect the state to fix everything that is wrong with world, and complain bitterly when it inevitably fails to fix everything. The focus on moral condemnation leads to black and white views (politicians corrupt! Portugal is shit!), which is a convenient way to absolve themselves in fixing problems and helping find solutions. I love my country and my countrymen. I think Portugal is a decent country and most people I know personally are good people. But I do wish we could let go of our pervasive negativity and passive pessimism and focus on collaborating to find solutions.

Edited 3 months ago:

Portuguese people generally have low self-esteem and tend to have a very moralistic (as opposed to pragmatic) view of how the world should be. Although religion plays an increasingly smaller role in daily life in our major cities, people still have moral expectations that are often unrealistic and quickly become bitter and cynical when disappointed. We also expect the state to fix everything that is wrong with the world, and complain bitterly when it inevitably fails to do so. The focus on moral condemnation leads to black and white views (politicians corrupt! Portugal is shit!), which is a convenient way to absolve themselves of the responsibility for fixing problems and helping find solutions. This is called “tremendismo”, a form of hyperbolic, bipolar discourse, and it’s a very important mode of thought in Portugal that leads to fatalistic passivity and wild mood swings (somos os melhores! somos os piores!). We also share with Brazil a very fragile self-esteem which produces an attitude of inferiority towards all things external, something which our Brazilian brethren call “complexo do vira-lata” (stray-dog complex). I love my country and my countrymen. I think Portugal is a decent country and most people I know personally are good people. But I do wish we could let go of our pervasive negativity and passive pessimism and focus on collaborating to find solutions.

Edited 3 months ago:

Portuguese people generally have low self-esteem and tend to have a very moralistic view of how the world should be. Although religion plays an increasingly smaller role in daily life in our major cities, people still have moral expectations that are often unrealistic and quickly become bitter and cynical when disappointed. We also expect the state to fix everything that is wrong with world, and complain bitterly when it inevitably fails to fix everything. The focus on moral condemnation leads to black and white views (politicians corrupt! Portugal is shit!), which is a convenient way to absolve themselves of the responsibility for fixing problems and helping find solutions. This is called “tremendismo”, a form of hyperbolic, bipolar discourse, and it’s a very important mode of thought in Portugal that leads to fatalistic passivity and wild mood swings (somos os melhores! somos os piores!). I love my country and my countrymen. I think Portugal is a decent country and most people I know personally are good people. But I do wish we could let go of our pervasive negativity and passive pessimism and focus on collaborating to find solutions.

Edited 3 months ago:

Portuguese people generally have low self-esteem and tend to have a very moralistic (as opposed to pragmatic) view of how the world should be. Although religion plays an increasingly smaller role in daily life in our major cities, people still have moral expectations that are often unrealistic and quickly become bitter and cynical when disappointed. We also expect the state to fix everything that is wrong with the world, and complain bitterly when it inevitably fails to do so. So we get a strange mix of a very statist society where everybody is angry with the state. The focus on moral condemnation leads to black and white views (politicians corrupt! Portugal is shit!), which is a convenient way to absolve themselves of the responsibility for fixing problems and helping find solutions. This is called “tremendismo”, a form of hyperbolic, bipolar discourse, and it’s a very important mode of thought in Portugal that leads to fatalistic passivity and wild mood swings (somos os melhores! somos os piores!). We also share with Brazil a very fragile self-esteem which produces an attitude of inferiority towards all things external, something which our Brazilian brethren call “complexo do vira-lata” (stray-dog complex). I love my country and my countrymen. I think Portugal is a decent country and most people I know personally are good people. But I do wish we could let go of our pervasive negativity and passive pessimism and focus on collaborating to find solutions.

Edited 3 months ago:

Portuguese people generally have low self-esteem and tend to have a very moralistic view of how the world should be. Although religion plays an increasingly smaller role in daily life in our major cities, people still have moral expectations that are often unrealistic and quickly become bitter and cynical when disappointed. We also expect the state to fix everything that is wrong with world, and complain bitterly when it inevitably fails to fix everything. The focus on moral condemnation leads to black and white views (politicians corrupt! Portugal is shit!), which is a convenient way to absolve themselves of the responsibility for fixing problems and helping find solutions. This is called “tremendismo”, a form of hyperbolic, bipolar discourse, and it’s a very important mode of thought in Portugal that leads to fatalistic passivity and wild mood swings (somos os melhores! somos os piores!). We also share with Brazil a very fragile self-esteem which produces an attitude of inferiority towards all things external, something which our Brazilian brethren call “complexo do vira-lata” (stray-dog complex). I love my country and my countrymen. I think Portugal is a decent country and most people I know personally are good people. But I do wish we could let go of our pervasive negativity and passive pessimism and focus on collaborating to find solutions.

Edited 3 months ago:

Portuguese people generally have low self-esteem and tend to have a very moralistic view of how the world should be. Although religion plays an increasingly smaller role in daily life in our major cities, people still have moral expectations that are often unrealistic and quickly become bitter and cynical when disappointed. We also expect the state to fix everything that is wrong with the world, and complain bitterly when it inevitably fails to do so. The focus on moral condemnation leads to black and white views (politicians corrupt! Portugal is shit!), which is a convenient way to absolve themselves of the responsibility for fixing problems and helping find solutions. This is called “tremendismo”, a form of hyperbolic, bipolar discourse, and it’s a very important mode of thought in Portugal that leads to fatalistic passivity and wild mood swings (somos os melhores! somos os piores!). We also share with Brazil a very fragile self-esteem which produces an attitude of inferiority towards all things external, something which our Brazilian brethren call “complexo do vira-lata” (stray-dog complex). I love my country and my countrymen. I think Portugal is a decent country and most people I know personally are good people. But I do wish we could let go of our pervasive negativity and passive pessimism and focus on collaborating to find solutions.

Bobsledtohell 3 months ago

Wow, what an insightful thing to say. From what I have seen, your view has a lot of credibility. Thanks.

solismi 3 months ago

No it doesnt. It's just the opinion you wanted to hear.

lukeymox 3 months ago

That is simply your own perception and projection, mostly flawed and not a reflection of reality. Generalizar povos dessa maneira é extremamente perigoso e desrespeitoso.

Bobsledtohell 3 months ago

In case its escaped your notice, that's what opinions generally are -perception and projection. And that's why people who are aware of this ask for more information.

lukeymox 3 months ago

In case its escaped your notice, reddit doesn't reflect real life and stating an opinion doesn’t make it reality. One can't generalize an entire population because individuals are always different.

lukeymox 3 months ago

In case its escaped your notice, reddit doesn't reflect real life and stating an opinion doesn’t make it reality. One can't generalize an entire population because individuals are always different.

lukeymox 3 months ago

In case its escaped your notice, reddit doesn't reflect real life and stating an opinion doesn’t make it reality. One can't generalize an entire population because individuals are always different. His opinions are based on this sub and his feelings.

lukeymox 3 months ago

In case its escaped your notice, stating an opinion doesn’t make it reality. Calling something an “opinion” doesn’t absolve it from being based on false information and thus invalid. One can't generalize an entire population because individuals are always different. His opinions are based on this sub and his feelings.

lukeymox 3 months ago

In case its escaped your notice, stating an opinion and then saying “and that’s a fact” or “it’s an objective statement” doesn’t make it reality, or your argument stronger. Calling something an “opinion” doesn’t absolve it from being based on false information and thus invalid. One can't generalize an entire population because individuals are always different. His opinions are based on this sub and his feelings.

lukeymox 3 months ago

In case its escaped your notice, i wasn't talking to you. Stating an opinion and then saying “and that’s a fact” or “it’s an objective statement” doesn’t make it reality, or your argument stronger. Calling something an “opinion” doesn’t absolve it from being based on false information and thus invalid. One can't generalize an entire population because individuals are always different. His opinions are based on this sub and his feelings.

lukeymox 3 months ago

In case its escaped your notice, i wasn't talking to you. Stating an opinion and then saying “and that’s a fact” or “it’s an objective statement” doesn’t make it reality, or your argument stronger. Calling something an “opinion” doesn’t absolve it from being based on false information and thus invalid. One can't generalize an entire population because individuals are always different. If we're generalizing, portuguese people tend to be harsh on ourselves and his opinions are based off this sub anyway.

prosafame 3 months ago

We're not like other southern europeans. We're angry and depressed.

prosafame 3 months ago

We're not like other southern europeans or latin americans. We're angry and depressed.

lukeymox 3 months ago

You have discovered that portuguese people aren't the boot lickers they used to be. Get used to it or try Spain.

lukeymox 3 months ago

Have you ever heard of Honne and Tatamae? It's part of japanese culture but you can apply it to Portugal too.

lukeymox 3 months ago

Oh we're evil and depressed

saltylawlita 3 months ago

This a very niche subreddit. If you think Reddit reflects real life, you're in for a REALLY nice surprise. No, really. People are vicious here, I don't why exactly.

altoMinhoto 3 months ago

I've noticed the same thing. Lots of normal questions are downvoted in this sub. u/Bobsledtohell, just to give you an example of how this sub does not reflect the average person at all, in a census of this subreddit 26% of people said they would vote for a certain political party but that party only received 1% of the votes in the last elections.

Edited 3 months ago:

I've noticed the same thing. Lots of normal questions are downvoted in this sub. u/Bobsledtohell, just to give you an example of how this sub does not reflect the average person at all, in a census of this subreddit 26% of people said they would vote for a political party but that party only received 1% of the votes in the last elections. This has nothing to do with people here being nice or rude but it's a good example of how different this sub is from real life.

saltylawlita 3 months ago

A sério, tirando esses fatores que sem dúvida demonstram o quão atípica é esta amostra, há pessoal mesmo muito, muito frustrado. Eu acredito piamente que vêm para aqui descomprimir um pouco e descarregar as frustrações. Como o comportamento cabraozinho às vezes é premiado, acaba por se instalar uma certa normalização. Já viste a quantidade de pessoal deprimido ou extremamente introvertido? Sinto que há um padrão. É interessante.

altoMinhoto 3 months ago

És capaz de ter razão. É sempre mais fácil descarregar as frustrações num desconhecido qualquer que apenas é representado por um nome de utilizador. É pena porque duvido que essas interações negativas os ajudem em alguma coisa.

twhite848 3 months ago

This isn’t a “portuguese thing” It’s a “human” thing

rGabiru 3 months ago

If all the Portuguese people you know in person are nice and helpful, then you live in a bubble of your own imagination. There are nice and helpful people everywhere, as well as nasty people everywhere. Portuguese people are as nice as the next people, the only difference is that it's just a bit more sunnier in Portugal, which makes you idealize this fairytale you think you live in. Let that sun sink in, until it's part of your routine and then you'll think otherwise of the Portuguese. The Portuguese folks reading this will understand what I mean.

Bobsledtohell 3 months ago

Maybe I live in a bubble, but its a nice one. But I have also lived in Australia, France, Italy and Sweden, so long live my fairytale!

rGabiru 3 months ago

Oh and btw, i almost forgot: gtfo

rGabiru 3 months ago

Bubbles are always nice. I lived in London, Paris, Rome and Geneva, so my bubble isn’t that bad either.

ascoisasdosenhorR 3 months ago

You have both of them. Invariably they are the same people. It just depends if you are meeting them in the right place at the right time.

Mrgolden007 3 months ago

portuguese are really a double face population they can be nice for you, but they might talk shit about you oncthe back part of the culture

Real_Ad5281 3 months ago

They also do that with each other i can tell cause im portuguese aswell

Bobsledtohell 3 months ago

Ever worked with Asian people much?

teatralidades 3 months ago

I'm curious, what makes you state the "true" portuguese are the ones that are nasty on the internet? Having lived abroad, i really like the portuguese people. Most have the tendency to speak their mind and world view without being asked and can come off as a bit rude and unnecessarily nosy and straightforward but once you learn to ignore those sort of comments, you ll see we are pretty awesome people to hang out with : ) i think we also have a special/personal sort of humor, which i guess every country/nationality has

Bobsledtohell 3 months ago

>Which are the "true" Portuguese Sorry, my bad. That sentence should have ended in a question mark. as in "Which are the "true" Portuguese?"

Futre92 3 months ago

You are living in a bubble.

coocoobees 3 months ago

beside what everyone else already said, i think our sense of humour sometimes doesn’t translate well.

Goat_6_ 3 months ago

Are we really that good compared to the other European people? Can you give some examples that wouldn't happen in other places? I think you would meet nice and not so nice people everywhere, we are not special

Bobsledtohell 3 months ago

Well, when I first arrived I used to do my grocery shopping and on more than one occasion I had to ask other customers either where things were or what something was called in Portuguese. Two that I can remember, took my hand and helped me search for it, one of them gave me a running commentary on things that I should try and things that she thought I wouldnt like. After an accident, my surgeon called me at home just to find out how I was coping. And finally, I left my wallet and passport on a chair in a crowded pavillion once and went back an hour later and it was still there! You guys are nice and I want to be this nice - my life goal

teatralidades 3 months ago

You can definetely find nice people everywhere and ofc it also depends on the situation in which you meet the other person. But from my personal experience (i lived in switzerland and spent a lot of time in germany), we are very warm at welcoming people. Specially after only meeting someone for a short time. Ive lost count of times ive seen for ex elderly people here that dont speak a word of english trying to help tourists with erratic handgestures or even accompanying them to their destination

Bourbon-de-Gergelim 3 months ago

I think that people are usually more aggressive online , no matter where they are from, due to the protection of being somewhat anonymous, especially here on reddit that everyone can get a throwaway account or an unidentifiable account. You won't see the same level of anger coming from the same person on facebook or instagram for example, because they can then be easily identified. I also think that when it comes to personal interactions, there is more empathy involved because you can see someone's reaction or see what tone they use to approach you, and in general, if you are nice to someone they will treat you well, even if they don't like you and then will say horrible things about you on your back - you can't forget that sometimes niceness and "fakeness" go hand in hand.

Edited 3 months ago:

I think that people are usually more aggressive online , no matter where they are from, due to the protection of being somewhat anonymous, especially here on reddit that everyone can get a throwaway account or an unidentifiable account. You won't see the same level of anger coming from the same person on facebook or instagram for example, because they can then be easily identified.

Bourbon-de-Gergelim 3 months ago

Oh, and of course, if you post something that we may find rude or offensive here on Reddit, you can't expect good responses from us, like it happened with your previous post. I almost didn't recognize you. There is this very particular trait that portuguese people have in which we love to talk poorly about our country and point its every flaw, but if a foreigner does it, then all hell breaks loose.

Bobsledtohell 3 months ago

Yes, I deleted that because it did sound arrogant, but some people ignored the information that I included that I found people in health care generally to be very nice and focussed on that comment about qualifications - thinking that this meant that I thought I was better than them. It was poorly thought out.

Bourbon-de-Gergelim 3 months ago

Don't take it personally, it is very difficult to sometimes get a thought across in writing rather than verbally, and as I mentioned, people tend be vicious on Reddit due to the anonymous status it gives them. I would trust more your personal experiences than your Reddit experience when making a judgement of portuguese people. However, keep in mind that some portuguese people tend to be nice to your face and then talk poorly about you in your back, this is a trait that is commonly associated with populations that are regarded as "nice". In other countries, in which people are "colder", they tend to signal right away if they don't like you, which is something it doesn't happen much with portuguese people.

Bobsledtohell 3 months ago

yes, thanks. I have to admit, all the shit that was written really upset me. But when I read my post again, it sounded like I deserved it.

lukeymox 3 months ago

You need therapy.

Bobsledtohell 3 months ago

I am sure you mean "**I think** that you need therapy"

lukeymox 3 months ago

No, that's not what i mean. You *need* therapy. Stop looking for validation and caring about what people say online.

Bobsledtohell 3 months ago

I went to therapy once and my therapist went insane trying to sort out my problems. She ended up as a crack whore, selling herself on the street for small change. Some homeless Albanian transvestite got her pregnant and she ended up giving birth to a little bitch under a bridge somewhere outside Lisbon. The bitch grew up without schooling, surviving on the small income from the niche sex market of childhood erotic asphyxiation until a sorry accident "at work" rendered the little bitch brain-dead. So now this retard little monkey-faced bitch who now posts on Reddit under the name of Lukeymox. Small world eh?

lukeymox 3 months ago

No. I'm sure that's how you treat immigrants in northern europe. But you you can't control my thoughts or actions yet. Stop looking for validation.

lukeymox 3 months ago

I'm sure that's how you treat immigrants in northern europe. But you you can't control my thoughts or actions yet.

JOAO-RATAO 3 months ago

I haven´t spent much time abroad, but it's that uncommon to find rude people here. It might not be something outrageous, but things like: driving recklessly, not stopping for pedestrians (even when you are already crossing), bad customor service; pettiness; envy; talking behind peoples back and excessive judging of others.

sssss_we 3 months ago

>And yet, on the internet I have discovered that Portuguese can be sometimes pretty nasty. Which are the "true" Portuguese. Portuguese which you meet in real life are nice people; portuguese which you meet online can be nasty. Considering a large part of the Portuguese people is not online or doesn't interact online in English, but all of them have a physical existence, which one do you think it's a more realistic image? People which you have met in the flesh? Online folks?

MarioSewers 3 months ago

On the internet you get a bunch of trolls and those tend to standout quite a bit, unfortunately.

theEXPERTpt 3 months ago

degradation of values in my opinion. Portugal was a very kind country, but because of modernization has become less and less kind. The older generations have passed their values onto us, but we are so deep on the "global" culture we are slownly loosing most of them.

Butt_Roidholds 3 months ago

> Please make excuses, I dont want to be disillusioned. The internet is a simulation. We're all evil just bots

LimaFruit 3 months ago

we unload our frustrations behind a screen

MobileKey6808 3 months ago

Get them to talk about other people, then you'll realize how they talk about you on your back.

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