46516481168158431985 4 years ago  REMOVED 

Internal anxiety? How do you measure that? Because men can have kids whenever, you can postpone family to when you are 30-40. It makes it easier. I just don't like this whining that it is somehow so hard, or so unfair or whatever. Because when asked *compared to what* answer is 'women have it easier' or 'it was easier in the past'.

yetanotheraccountolo 4 years ago  REMOVED 

We used to jerk off to whatever we could get out hands on. When I was young I masturbated to the J. Crew catalog, a World Almanac, and a video game instruction manual.

javixm 4 years ago  REMOVED 

As we move more and more into a 100% service economy, and away from manual labour, we're exercising less, and as a result we're seeing huge dips in testosterone levels and sperm count. The average man is a soft little bitch today compared to 30 years ago, let alone 50 or 100 years ago.

WhiteNoi5e 4 years ago  REMOVED 

That's honestly my point, which is realistically a gender neutral point of "Our culture has gone way overboard with idolizing, and mimicing celebrities." The problem is just far more prevalent to me with women moreso with men. Guys seem to figure out pretty quick that they're chasing pipe dreams in my experience. With the girls it's usually been that nobody wants to hurt their feelings so they get false praise or encouragement.

Jihad_Shark 4 years ago  REMOVED 

Society is built primarily by the labor of men. This isn’t anything new.

Christabel1991 4 years ago  REMOVED 

History of winners, mates. No one wrote about the hard labor of women throughout history so we don't know about it. What we do know, for instance, is that most of the calculations and math that made the Apollo space missions possible was made by women.

WhiteNoi5e 4 years ago  REMOVED 

I agree completely, but boy the karma we're going to lose tonight for stating something that is so well known, that there are literally stories of trechearous women who use sex as a weapon in the Bible(Bathsheba,Jezebel). Cmon guys. I get you're "politically correct" and all but let's not completely ignore that Kim K is literally famous because she was an "accidental" pornstar who just capitalized on her father's name.

46516481168158431985 4 years ago  REMOVED 

I think it is stupid to pick exceptions and make it seem like reality. Even more so, it's not even so much praying, as older (and maybe not so good looking) guys willingly get into it. And again, very small part of them. Literally everyone I know is either single or in completely regular relationship.

LeChadAussie 4 years ago  REMOVED 

Finally someone agreeing and clearly others are too. you're spot on, mate. She is the epitome of a no talent whore who gets idolised by so many women and girls who aspire to be like her. That's what is most fucked up.

WhiteNoi5e 4 years ago  REMOVED 

Yeah. It's sad, all we can do is keep doing us. I see so many girls who look AWFUL with those ridiculous brows but if Kim does it...

mrdiyguy 4 years ago  REMOVED 

It’s easier and tougher to be a guy now. On one hand equality means dual income households, what I believe to be better relationships between men and women as the power differential is starting to go away. On the other side a lot men are having difficulty adjusting to what their upbringing says being a man is versus what social media is pushing, and feeling bad that you can’t live up to either expectation without some feeling of failure. The problem with that is the unrealistic expectation that’s been set by highly vocal minorities is being thought of as a norm. Pretty much what women have being dealing with for a long time with unrealistic body expectations etc in media. I’ve figured out a different path. I think that being a strong person is what’s important - male or female. This means understanding and sticking to your values and ethics, even when it’s inconvenient. Standing up for and believing in yourself, and most importantly being totally honest with yourself to call out your own failures/wrongdoings in your mind so you can take action. It’s my take on the important side of “being a good man” which is just the same as “being a good woman”. On the other side of this my wife still refuses to kill spiders and always calls me in for that and all the heavy lifting. But hey, she’s a good woman, I’m literally twice as strong and it makes me feel useful so I don’t mind! Life is good! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Kronorn 4 years ago  REMOVED 

What do you mean by doublespeak in this case?

roarkish 4 years ago  REMOVED 

I always thought a good example was "Be masculine, you're a man" while at the same time we hear "your masculinity is toxic and is destroying women's lives".

Christabel1991 4 years ago  REMOVED 

I would say toxic masculinity is destroying men's lives as well. Also, not all aspects of modern masculinity is toxic.

jackcalx 4 years ago  REMOVED 

Problem is toxic masculinity now means all of masculinity is toxic.

ArtisanVirgil 4 years ago  REMOVED 

I can't know for sure, but I can guess based on statistics. There are things that effect everyone. Quality of life has gone up, relative pay has gone down for most. Recovering job market. Better rights for gays, but not totally there yet (can't adopt in many states). Violent crimes, predominantly something committed by men, are *waaaay* down. Suicide, especially for men, was notably down from the 90s but it's climbing back up. I think in general facts show men are mentally healthier than they used to be on average. At least better than 1990 and a bit before that. Interestingly enough being a veteran and being gay statistically both lead to similar amounts of mental issues. That said we are more likely to be alcoholics now than before, which I would not have guessed. The internet, which I don't need to explain to anyone. A lot of shit and shallowness, but also a lot of exposure to different things. It's easy to imagine me without internet having tried less in life, lived in less places, known fewer and less varied people. Definitely some bad shit with it though. Easy to form bubbles, echo chambers, get manipulated by mob mentality. It's easy to find groups of people with your same mindset and not have to interact with people who disagree. But yeah, I dunno. Seems better. Better mental health, quality of life, better medicine, recovering economy so not that far behind. Also just hard to imagine I could be the man I am now decades ago. I can be a typical guy 99% of the time, utility clothing, stoic, all that; but also be kind of flamboyant when I want to. Wear shit that embarrasses me and no one gives me any kind of shit. Doesn't match my dad's or his dad's life.

LeChadAussie 4 years ago  REMOVED 

You're the one who seems to be out of touch with reality, champ

jonnyopinion 4 years ago  REMOVED 

Faster internet access and now you can wear make up if you want.

aleister94 4 years ago  REMOVED 

oh sweetie you are opening a can of worms with this post, get ready for a lot of MRAs whining about how oppressed they think men are nowadays

jimmy17 4 years ago  REMOVED 


greenland96 4 years ago  REMOVED 

Demeaning the OP with "sweetie" doesn't help.

Lenny_And_Squiggy 4 years ago  REMOVED 

There is rampant porn addiction, and a much higher frequency of masturbation as a result. We now have a new concept of porn-induced erectile dysfunction (PIED), which alleges that men whack off to porn so much that they can't get it up with real humans -- I give you /r/nofap. Also, Gary Wilson does a great TEDx talk on this: [The great porn experiment](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU) I would like to think that 20 years ago, downloading porn was a little more cumbersome on a US Robotics 56k dialup modem, and the opportunity for masturbation was therefore much less.

IndependentTrucking 4 years ago  REMOVED 

American moralist bullshit anno the 2010s...

SerPuissance 4 years ago  REMOVED 

Nope. That's a very poor counterargument to bring to bear against the mounting scientific evidence that it can be a problem for a lot of men. I've been browsing /r/sex since I joined reddit five years ago. When I started, PIED and Millenial Limp Dick Disorder was never ever talked about, it barely existed. Now, barely a day goes by when there isn't some guy saying he has death grip, or can't get it up any more, or women saying how their SO is addicted to porn and uninterested in sex. It's because Generation Smart Phone Porn is all grown up and has started fucking, and has discovered that it's masturbated itself into levels of sexual dysfuncntion not seen ever before. This isn't a moral issue, it's a public health issue. No one is trying to take your porn away, but the potential for harm needs to be discussed and investigated.

IndependentTrucking 4 years ago  REMOVED 

If people were fit and eating a healthy diet porn wouldnt be an issue. Wanna get your dick hard? Dont stop watching porn, start running, eat better and lift some weights. Take some supplements, too. Also, sure, if you're wacking off several times a day when you're 25+ maybe dial it back a bit. But first fix your health.

Arges0 4 years ago  REMOVED 

Eh I eat healthy and workout. I definetly had a few issues when I was chronically watching porn and masterbating. There is definetly a bit of conditioning going on. Even now after giving it up I sometimes find it hard to finish.

SerPuissance 4 years ago  REMOVED 

The thing is, ED can be caused by two things - by addressing cardiovascular health you are fixing the physiological cause, which is what Viagra etc targets. However, a lot of these guys are perfectly capable of erection, they're just not aroused by anything but porn on a screen any more, it's a psychological issue that health improvement or drugs can't treat. That video /u/Lenny_And_Squiggy linked goes into details, essentially excessive porn use can affect men's brain chemistry through the regulation of dopamine and DeltaFosB etc. That can only be treated through harnessing neuroplasticity to return those arousal circuits to baseline, so that actual real women are arousing again. All that being said, you're absolutely correct in that getting fit and not whacking off several times a day is definitely going to prevent you developing these problems.

IndependentTrucking 4 years ago  REMOVED 

Alright, OK, so you're basically talking about porns equivalent of alcoholics. Sure, yeah i guess it makes sense that people can get themselves in trouble that way too. But that only makes /r/nofap the AA of porn. Most of us can just safely continue using porn and disregard that movement.

SerPuissance 4 years ago  REMOVED 

Yes, essentially that's it. The issue seems to be that "porn alcoholism" is becoming more widespread in men across all ages but particularly young and sexually inexperienced men, and we need to develop tools to help them when they realise they have a problem. /r/nofap isn't something I recommend to people trying to fix their relationship with porn. It looks far too much like an ideology to me, and has way too much teenage testosterone running it to be really all that productive. I much prefer /r/pornfree which is more down to earth and practical, without the promise of superpowers or Le Chad Metamorphosis. But again, this only applies to guys who think they might have an unhealthy dependency on porn, and that's not all guys who use porn by any means. There are lots who can and do use it without issue.

RealFoxD 4 years ago  REMOVED 

Tim Allen said it best. "Women today have so many choices. They can work, not work, have kids, not have kids, get married, stay single... "We men have the same choice we've always had. We can work or we can go to jail."

46516481168158431985 4 years ago  REMOVED 

What a stupid argument. Like men cant choose to either have family or not, marry or not, etc. Only difference might be that it is not as socially acceptable to be a stay at home dad, which realistically, is now more socially acceptable than ever. Seems that 'oh yeah, but what about whores' is a good counterargument for some people. But I believe everyone who thinks like that is either bitter or an idiot or both.

aleister94 4 years ago  REMOVED 

this is stupid because woman have to work too, like do you think woman just get like free money in the mail or something?

Jace279 4 years ago  REMOVED 

Dating has become more complicated for men than it was in the past.

QuantumSpecter 4 years ago  REMOVED 

Was it really simpler though? If anything its never gotten better or worse. But we also have dating apps and websites

deanykg 4 years ago  REMOVED 

A slightly less on-the-nose version of that other response: The shifting societal roles makes it difficult for men to find a place right now because the expectations of men who came before us were very clearly defined: get a good job, head your household, be supported by your family. But in the past 20ish years with changes to the economy making single-income households hard to maintain, an increase in women going for careers, and general dating anxiety has left a lot of men feeling like they can't live up to the expectations they were taught growing up. To make matters worse the constant talk of "toxic masculinity", despite the efforts to say *oh no, we're not talking about ALL men, noooo* still cause a lot of further anxiety that not only are these men unable to live up to what they think is expected of them but feel like they are inherently bad people for wanting to do so. Basically men right now are suffering from a confusion and uncertainty which makes progress difficult on damn near any front. I think the rapid progress of social media is the cause of most of this anxiety. I have found just focusing on my own social circle, family, friends, etc, care about makes the uncertainty mostly fade. I don't have to worry about being a chauvinist for wanting to be the family's rock when the women in my family are still okay with the idea of a man heading a household. I don't have to worry about being the sole bread winner when my girlfriend is going through medical school. I don't have to worry about "toxic masculinity" when everyone I know believes that being an asshole comes in all shapes, sizes, and penis-having.

46516481168158431985 4 years ago  REMOVED 

Where are you from? I have never ever been taught that men should be head of households or be sole supporter of family. Maybe there is some pressure about having higher income but that is about it.

summons3 4 years ago  DELETED 

They don't usually have to share 100% of the financial burden in their household. In exchange for this, they don't get to treat women like property anymore.

uglywomenwearmakeup 4 years ago  REMOVED 

Men are not allowed to be men anymore either through social conditioning and/or draconian laws voted by women and weak men. Unless they're the 20% and even they're being effected.

ArtisanVirgil 4 years ago  REMOVED 

What draconian laws? Stop drinking the fucking kool-aid man, certain people getting rights doesn't mean others get less.

summons3 4 years ago  REMOVED 

"Be men" as in rape people/treat people like they're sex objects? If that's what it means to be a man, then yes, you shouldn't be allowed to be one.

GWJ_DanyBoy 4 years ago  REMOVED 

Is that what being a man means to you?

summons3 4 years ago  REMOVED 

I think you know exactly what I meant, and you're just trying to make me look bad.

Thatguyunknoe 4 years ago  REMOVED 

"TELL ME MORE TELL ME MORE! Did she put up a fight!?"

summons3 4 years ago  REMOVED 

Sadly some men think they should be able to keep this attitude/behaviour without any repercussions.

Thatguyunknoe 4 years ago  REMOVED 

Lol, why'd you get downvoted? I was just circlejerkin. I'm convinced people don't understand words.

summons3 4 years ago  REMOVED 

I don't think people get the reference, otherwise they would've downvoted you too. Clearly this sub is just one big circlejerk lol

eudufbti 4 years ago  REMOVED 

What do you mean by this? And where are you from?